Let me tell you about the VIP buses, if you don't already know. These are massive, double decker behemoth road sailing vehicles complete with toilet, attendant and goodies when you get on board. The seats (when they are working) recline to nearly horizontal and are equipped with footrests (when working), blankets of assorted fabrics and pillows. It seems to be a rule in Thailand that when something breaks, it stays broken...except for motorbikes...so the glamour of the bus is somewhat of an illusion. From the outside, the buses are quite festive in the evening. Fuchsia and lime lights twinkle gaily, festoons of curtains line the windows, green and pink scallops with little balls bouncing from the edges, and the headliners seem to have stepped straight from the 1970s...sort of disco meets psychedelic. The overall effect is a rolling party, or the Cash Cab on steroids. It is rather disconcerting to be herded in a large group of farangs, mini-vanned to the Northern or Southern bus station, and then try to figure out which of these giant vehicles will be your home for the night. The stations are massive and the buses loom over you like automated elephants, slowly lumbering back and forth in a comfortable swaying motion. Inside the air conditioning never stops and your only hope is to close off as much of it as possible with the little adjustable vent over your head (when it works). My first attempt at this was met with some rough German guttural swearing from the passenger in front of me and the statement "zat is too much!". It was okay, I had my blanket, and I just did like the Thais do, I tossed it over my head and made the best of it. As we embarked, the attendant, clad in a snappy little uniform, pointed out our seats and handed us bottles of water and juice, as well as a small brightly colored package of something very puffy...perhaps an extra pillow? No...a treat...something spongy rolled up. I had come supplied with my own snacks from the 7 Eleven at the bus station; chips, oreos, and rolled up coconut things that come in two flavors, coconut and a snazzy garlic chili. 7 Eleven is everywhere in Thailand now and sells appropriately Thai snacks that look like the snacks in the 7 Elevens at home.
Once you are under way, there is at least an hour of adjustments to your seat, the air conditioning, your blanket, your neighbors, and then all the lights and the TV go out and its time to sleep. That is, unless the old man and young woman in the back seat decide to take a couple of cell phone calls. The woman politely covers her mouth and then speaks louder, but the old man makes no attempt to exclude you from his call and they go on and on and on...cell phones are annoying in any language. On the bus going down, the handle that made my seat recline was broken and if I moved just right, it dug relentlessly into my thigh until I woke up and readjusted. Fortunately on the way back it was only the cell phone capers that interrupted my sleep. By the trip back to Bangkok I was an old hand and knew what to expect.
There is a stop 3 hours in to the trip to change drivers, no matter which direction you go. These way stations are quite a wonder. You have a chance to use a larger, less odoriferous bathroom with actual sinks, and stock up on more snacks. On the way back from Ranong the stop is in Champhoun...it is a southern transportation hub...trains, planes, buses...and the bus rest stop is worth a visit all on its own. It was sort of a cross between a rest stop and an amusement park. There were lines of facilities, a restaurant, fried snacks of every kind in puffy bags, and long rows of colorful Muslim women at carts making roti...all kinds of roti...savory, sweet, breakfast, dinner, whatever you wanted. Even though the price list stated 20, 25 and 30 baht, Muzzy's savory curry roti was an aggressive "40 baht!" Oh well, I consider the buck and a half the price of admission.
No comments:
Post a Comment